Dirty. You can ask any sexual abuse victim how they feel and most likely that will be their answer. Even though you are a victim there is Satan who whispers into your ear and convinces you it's your fault. He tells you that you asked for it and you wanted it. You are so lost that you believe it. It makes it all the more worse when it was someone you were close with or a relative. It has taken me some time but I am slowly starting to realize it wasn't my fault. I was only 6. I was a child.
I pray there are little to know people who can relate to my pain but unfortunately there are quite a bit. Even if you haven't been sexually abused we all still have a dark past or skeletons in our closets. Whether they're things we've done or things that we've had done to us we still feel embarssesment and guilt. What if someone found out? What if someone acually knew everything there was to know about you. I bet you think they would run away as far as possible. Well, you are wrong and so was I.
There was a man named Jesus. He knew everything about you, inside and out, and yet He still loved and continues to love you. He loved you so much that He died for you. When you accept Christ as your Lord and Savior you become a new creation.
2 Corinthians 5:17-New Living Translation (NLT)
17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
Your sins and past will be wiped clean. My past is gone.