Thursday, June 6, 2013

Survival Guide When You've Lost Hope

I have reached this point too many times. I had another attack last week and it was like the old ones. I choked, cried, screamed, and felt like committing suicide. This week God has given me a new perspective on my life. Things right now are worse then ever. Between lawyers, private investigators, child services, the hatred from my father, and the shame that comes along with the abuse life can seem dark and hopeless. I broke out in tears. Never would I think my life would be like this. One day, when I'm through all of this, I hope I can make a difference by sharing my entire story. I'm not giving up despite the terrible circumstances. 

Anyone would look at me and have no idea any of this is going on. It's worse then you imagine my life to be, but because of God I manage to keep an honest, genuine smile. How? God changed my thinking and perspective. 

First off, you're never alone. It may feel like its you against the world but I can promise you you're not. 
Psalm 139: 7-10 
" I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave,you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me."
He will never leave your side.

Also, God has already overcome the world. Your problems are never to grand or great compared to Gods power. 
Jeremiah 32:27
"I am The Lord, the God of all man kind. Is anything too hard for me?" 

The most important thing I think about when I feel like ending it all: this life will e filled with pain & suffering. It all had a purpose. It's preparing for our true home. Earth is our temporary home. Our true home is an eternity in Heaven with our best friend, father, and bridegroom God and Jesus. There will be no pain in Heaven. From Completely His Shannon Ethridge describe Heaven like this, "imagine the presence of all things we love about this world and the absence of all things we hate. Imagine all the wonders of nature, such as oceans and mountains, without any hurricanes or earthquakes or other natural disaster. Envision having a strong, fit body that never ages, never aches, never gets fat, never gets sick, and never does. Imagine being around your family without anyone getting mad, getting even, or string their feelings hurt. In heaven, everything is perfect. Heaven is sin free, guilt free, stress free, sickness free, and abuse free. Only peace and prosperity for all Gods children to enjoy."
All this pain is worth it. Committing suicide won't send you to heaven. H. O. P. E.(hold on pain ends) I'm here for you. God is by your side. He loves you. He won't leave you. Keep pushing. 

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