Thursday, May 2, 2013

Trying to Be Strong When You Are at Your Weakest

I feel like this is all too much. My life is terrifying right now. I go through life trying so darn hard not to let my situation define me. I wake up every morning and have to pray to God just so I can smile and mean it. Everyone and everything is against me right now. I have received so much hate for this blog. Finally little Kaitlin speaks up about everyone hurting her and I become the attacker. I have written nothing but the truth on here. No one likes to be faced with their sins but I was the one on the other side of them. I was the one you screamed at. I was the one you left all alone to get drunk. I was the one you ignored when I needed you.

Things, bad things, are going on right now. I'm being threatened to take this down. I won't. I only post the truth like I said. It's amazing how much someone can go through yet hide it. People think you are some super hero and untouchable, but their words and actions cut deep. This week, well let's just say for a long time I life pushed me down and I have had many people just kick me despite the pain. I am amazed I still manage to smile. Shoot, I am amazed I am still living. It's all because of God. I know all of this pain has a purpose. I have worked through so many panic attacks. I have resisted killing myself. I haven't cut in weeks. I won't lose faith because I know God will pull me through. This world can be sick at times but know it's only temporary. My real home with my real father is waiting for me. In Heaven is why I keep pushing. I have gone through too much to give up now.

People see me as this happy, carefree girl. I mean that is one side but there is also this side that is a little girl who has been hurt too many times. Next time you insult someone or hurt them think about what they could be going through. It;'s shocking that some people know what I am going throng and still chose to make it worse and put me through more hell. Long story short, this blog is going no where! I am here to stay and unlike little girl Kaitlin I have a voice and I won't be shut up.

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