Yes, I messed up. I poured my heart out and got rejected. Honestly, I was the epitome of the crazy, clingy ex. I should have taken the hint and moved on but I didn't and I was left rejected and with a broken heart. I felt like the biggest idiot and hated myself. I thought everyone thinks I am this emotional wreck. I thought everyone knew me as Kaitlin, the girl with depression, serious family problems, and a freak. Like I said I hated myself and I was mortified..... like I wanted to hide from you forever. Thoughts like, "No one likes you." "You're crazy" "See, no one actually likes for you." I swore never again would I share that much of myself with another person. No more blogging or talking.... I will just get judged.
Then my mom came to the rescue like she always does. After we talked I had a completely different perspective and learned on of the most important life lessons. Never feel bad for being yourself. I was 100% me with that person and while I didn't get a positive response doesn't make me a bad person. It's one person out of hundreds of thousands that I will meet. We are a treasure box. We are full of so many different elements, some are good and others we aren't quite sure what to do with them, but all in all with love every piece of that box. It makes life exciting and there's always new things to discover.
Would I go back and take the thousands of texts I sent.... no. I learned and grew from this experience. I was myself and if they don't like that then I can't do anything about it. Never apologize for being you and speaking from the heart. Never be embarrassed because if that person doesn't accept all of you then that's their loss. I love myself, even the crazy parts. We all aren't perfect and we all make mistakes, but we are human and that is part of life. We are growing everyday. Life isn't a destination but a journey.