Hope is a powerful thing. It provides you with a completely different outlook on life. I learned so much today. All of this new information gave me hope, and I think it will give you some as well. Life is hard, I 100% agree. I didn't have a typical childhood. I have witnessed things that no child should witness. I have had a time with no parents and I had to learn how to take care of myself. I have been through it all trust me, so if I believe there is hope for me then I KNOW there's hope for you.
Having depression, aniexity, bipolar disorder, or any other mental illness is hard but you're not weird or a freak. I used to think I was the weirdest girl on this planet and that no one was felt or experienced the things I have, but you know what? Millions of people have mental illnesses. Even if you don't but you have been through hell and back you aren't alone. Like I said... I have really been through it all but I realized something. No one thinks I'm crazy. No one looks down on me because I have to take medicine for a disease I have. No body shakes their head when I walk by because my parents are divorced and I have an alcoholic father. I was blessed with two parents that love me who I love back. No one looks down on you and you aren't alone.
I learned all of my behaviors..... not being able to get out of my bed, crying due to the pain I feel, cutting, having panic attacks...are all normal. I have been through a lot and I am just trying to cope. Are these things good? Not at all and I am working to be better but I need to stop being so hard on myself and so do you. You are still alive, which surely counts for something. It's a daily battle but you're doing the best you can, so cut yourself some slack!
Here's the best part. No matter how far gone you are. No matter what your past consists of. No matter how many "labels" the doctors have given you or how many meds your on there is hope. Yeah I have been through a lot and I have serve depression but I have a bright future. NOTHING is impossible with God. I am pushing through all of this darkness and I can see light. Stop, take a moment, and picture the future you want, not the future you think you'll have but the one you always desired. With God, that's possible. When I take a break from thinking about my depression all I can see are bright lights on me. I am in the middle of a broadway stage in New York. All eyes are on me and my music just started. I perform my solo, whatever it may be... dream role is easily Glinda from 'Wicked'. This depression we are going through or tough time is just a point in time!
After you've finished reading this just stop and think about your dreams. The crazier, the better. Don't think about your situation right now because it will pass. When you think about your future you've found your light. Here's what gets me through: Let's say I live for 80 years. That is a dot on this never ending line of my life. When you accept Jesus as your Lord & Savior you have eternal life with Him in heaven. This world isn't it. Just think that this is a dot on your never ending life time. That's hope my friends.