Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The Naked Truth.

Today was rough, extremely rough. Honestly I didn't think I'd make it through today. I have been hurt by a lot of people and my heart has multiple wounds. Lying on my floor, I never felt so alone." No one can help me" I said, "no doctor knows what's wrong, I'm trying my hardest, and my own mother is baffled. My friends can't help.... Even my own family canst do anything. I guess I'm just a lost cause and I might as well give up now." I began screaming in pain. My heart ache actually hurt and I felt my whole body would crush from all the pain and pressure. I want you to be there to rub my back and say that you loved me but then I realized you broke me heart. Then I thought about someone else, but they also broke me heart. I went through a list of people I loved but then I realized they all chief at some point in my life. Some more then others but all in all there was resentment there.
I threw my hands up to The Lord. "I can't do this. My whole life has been trails, suffering, pain... Just please take it away I'm not happy. Save me dear God." I listened and heard nothing. Then the darkness came over me and I felt the devil taping on my shoulder saying, " You see God isn't going to help you. Just end it... You will feel better." I began contemplating, then I heard my phone ring. It's doesn't matter who it was but honestly I so clearly felt God telling me to go to Pandora and listening to christen contemporary. The first song that came on was "Worn" by Tenth Avenue North

I felt like God was speaking to me through the lyrics. Worn Lyrics
Tenth Avenue North


The lyrics are:
I'm tired I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed by the wait of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise from ashes of a broken life
And that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause i'm worn
I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I'm to weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Oh Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn
Bridge:
My prayers are wearing thin
Ya I'm worn
Even before the day begins
Ya I'm worn
I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn
So heaven come and flood my eyes

I went to my dance studio across the hall and danced my heart out and worshiped God.

You see I felt alone but He NEVER left me and kept me going. Blessed be His name

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